outing and dressing up

Today we went to for the Medieval Christmas event.....which ended up being very entertaining indeed as Oz was asked to take part in a demo! The man who usually dresses as an archer was already in costume for another display, so he asked Oz to step in as he was the right size for the outfit. Bam thought it was great fun watching Oz put on the leg armour, special thick fleece jacket, helmet and throat guard (which Oz said was very heavy)....and trying to draw the long bow......
We are going to join English Heritage next year so we can visit lots of historical buildings as we have really enjoyed it, and it will be great to take Bam to lots more events.
Weather here today is dreadful, rain rain rain and coming in sideways because of the wind which is howling round the house.

A night on the sofa calls, and listening to Under Milk Wood which arrived in the post this morning.

ahem.......

oh i'm really not good at this blogging malarkey!!

Since i last posted it's been a mostly normal life, apart from meeting my dad for the very first time.......which was emotional, exciting and scary.

I have had a short weekend with Bam, as his dad is working more at this time of year so i took him back yesterday instead of today and will be collecting him on Thursday.
On Saturday I took him to see Father Christmas and as i thought, once we got in there he was clingy and shy.......wouldn't talk to FC, wouldn't sit with him, wouldn't have his photo taken with him........but at least we tried, maybe next year he will appreciate it more.

Today i have a few bits to attempt in the garden.......it gives for rain but as it is overcast at the moment it is warmer outside, so i'll try and get an hour or so this morning. Then i need to finish writing Christmas cards, make up the ones Bam helped to create......and then i really need to make a start on wrapping some presents.

Have a sore throat and swollen glands today..........hope it clears up soon, i am starting to get fed up of feeling ill.......

talk

after reading another blog this morning about talking, to all manner of people, it reminded me of when i used to run a business. Over the course of ten years i met many people while running my shop, all wanting to pass time with a little conversation. Sometimes this didn't extend beyond an exchange of comment on the weather......other times it would start with one person talking about their day/week so far and another customer joining in until we had a social club in the middle of my shop! As time passed i saw young couples marry, and have children and then see their children grow........i unfortunately lost a few customers of advancing years, some of whom i missed a great deal. They often stopped for a long chat, occasionally bringing me cakes and we would put the kettle on and have tea together and put the world to rights. Or they would share their life story with me.......some of them because they had no family to share this with, so very sad........

Not all my customers brought such a smile into the shop, and as the years passed i found retail much less rewarding than it had been. After my son was born i didn't return to the shop and then circumstances meant that we had to close the business down, and so now i often wonder about some of those people who i encountered in my shop and how their lives are carrying on.
During my time there i was fortunate enough to share in some truly joyful moments, and also sadly to have been a small part of some of the saddest events people will ever experience. I was exposed to human nature in all it's forms...........
I do think with the loss of so many of our independant shops we are losing this community, this contact with other humans, the larger shops just do not offer the same intimate level of contact with staff.
This time of year i do get a little nostalgic about my shop, i can remember the week before Christmas.....the rushing about, the happy chatter, the 'Have a Merry Christmas' call between myself and the customers.......

in the wars

my little boy has been in the wars this weekend. He fell off a roundabout at the park and landed on his bottom, has skinned both of his knees, and this afternoon has picked up a pretty nasty cut on his hand.........he has had a weekend of doing everything and going everywhere at 100 mph......

I had a headache on Thursday that got worse on Friday, moved into my nose/eyes/ears yesterday and has rendered me pretty much useless for the weekend. It has lifted today but left me feeling dazed and my face is very tender.......

It is very windy out tonight, i can hear it out there........very noisy indeed........

time and tide

i'm a bit rubbish at this blog thing.......but i've been so busy with other stuff this has been at the bottom of a very long list.......

I have moved, again. But this is it for at least a year now. We have a beautiful cottage down a lane with only two other houses. A big garden out the front, outbuildings for our mountain of belongings and a patch of garden out the back which we are digging over to turn into a veg patch. I can't wait for next year to be eating our own produce.
The downside of it being rented is not being able to do exactly what we would like to the property and gardens, but i am so grateful to have found such a beautiful place to live.

Bam has started nursery this week and by all accounts he loves it!! but then he is a very sociable child so that doesn't surprise me.

Well, i feel a bit down this week....and lethargic , so am being kind to myself and not pushing too hard on the domestic front. However we have glorious sunshine outside today and so i'm making the most of that and pottering about in the garden. It is so overgrown that actually it's an overwhelming task trying to tidy it, but i'm doing a little here and there and eventually it will start to look much better. I do loathe couch grass though......the damn stuff gets everywhere......

well posties just been, and delivered a lamp i bought for Bam's room and also the first of my christmas shopping!

so......what happened?

well the short version is that i left the man i had lived with for 14 years, and with whom i have a small child (will be his third birthday in a couple of weeks!)..........it's been hard, with lots of soul searching but now i'm happier. It's very hard, harder than i can say in words, not being with my son every day. We have to do what's best for him though and that is making sure that he gets equal time with mummy and daddy. Because his dad works away at weekends i have ended up in the rather unusual position of being a weekend mummy, which currently means having him Friday afternoon through to Monday afternoon..........but when he eventually goes to school that time will be reduced and i'm finding that thought unbearable.

in more recent events..........a few weeks ago i found a lump in one of my breasts. I went to the GP who referred me to the Breast Clinic and (after changing the appt because it clashed with holiday) i went yesterday. They found the lump (because it has been a bit elusive) and decided to do a biopsy. While doing it half the lump disappeared, so they took the rest out and said it is/was more than likely a cyst. They will phone me on Tuesday to let me know for sure.

erm........

i'd kind of forgotten about this.......but then i've had a lot going on since i last posted. Some really big changes to my life. It's strange to read my posts from last year, and think about the normality i seemed to be living in.......but then that last blog about that party and how lonely i felt.......well that was the beginning of me waking up and realising that my life wasn't at all complete. It's been an emotionally hard few months, i've had to make some hard decisions which mean my life has taken a completely different turn.

More when i have time to sit and think about what i want to write.